Lost in Translation...

For weeks now the Honduran has been telling me about working for a particular customer. He says I am working for meester yays. Now, since I have discovered that he tends to eat the end of his words when he is speaking English I assumed that he was talking about a man named Mr Yates. This week I went over to visit him while he worked at meester yay's house, only to discover that Mr Yates is actually Mr Jay! When I pulled into the yard of a well known local artist, who's first name is Jay, I about wet my pants laughing. I recovered enough to get out of the car and wipe the tell-tale signs off my face before greeting the Honduran with a raidant grin. In retrospect I should have come to this conclusion ages ago because he calls all his clients by Mr or Mrs and their first names. It just didn't dawn on me! It's not the first time and won't be the last time that he has to repeat himself a million times until I catch on and say "oh...such and such" because I finally got the English word my poor baby was trying to say. Lord, clean out my ears! I really need one of those cool translator ear things from Star Trek. Think Best Buy has one?

Yes, folks, She can be taught!

So, if its a problem, let's fix it...

My thought process: Okay, Houston, we have a problem. Step 1-contact the most qualified person to diagnose the problem. Step 2-cringe, sweat, swear and cry but then pay for repair, correction or solution to problem. Step 3-Feel loss at the amount the bank balance has dropped or how long I will have to keep paying for the fix. Step 4-Relief that the problem is fixed...aaaahhhh.

The Honduran's thought process: Problem? What is a problem. That's not a problem. Call a friend who has a friend that knows a guy who can fix problem real cheap.

Dilemma: North American thinking and Central American thinking do not blend well!

The past couple days I have learned that it is not going to be easy to submit to the Honduran's brand of problem solving. However, part of getting married is stepping out of the very comfortable, broken in pair of take care of myself shoes and into the tight, pinching, will need lots of practice to wear let him take care of me shoes. I see blisters in my future. I think I better hit up the Walgreens for a case of band-aids! I have a feeling this old dog is going to be learning lots of new tricks.

"Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants."

Reasons I need to learn Spanish

1) So I can explain how I feel when I feel something besides "happy" or "mad" since apparantly the Honduran thinks those are the only emotions on earth.

2) So I can laugh too when everyone in the room is laughing and I ask the Honduran what's funny and he says "Nada"!!

3) So I can win Lotteria. I am too slow and they've flipped 6 cards by the time I realize that I knew that word and I had that picture on my board!!!

4) So I really know what's happening on all the novellas I am having to watch.

5) Because "I love you, you are my heart" sounds so much prettier in Espanol and I want to be able to say something equally as pretty in return.

6) So I can quit having to copy and paste song lyrics and text messages into Google Translate.

I am sure I can come up with some others but these were the ones that were fresh in my mind. I am not picking up the lingo quite as fast as I would like. I think I need much more practice!

From the "Comfort Zone" to the "Twilight Zone"

Faster than you can say "Beam me up, Scottie" life can go from the normal and mundane to an edge of your seat, holy crap, hold on to your butts kind of ride! Let me just say that until a month ago I was very comfortable with my life. Content is a good word. My job...comfortable. My house...comfortable. My friends...few, but comfortable. I was totally buried deep in my "Comfort Zone" and life was good. Sometimes predictable, but what's wrong with that? I knew what to expect and for a girl who likes to know who, what, when, where, & why it was hog heaven.

Enter the "Honduran"!

I remember the first time I met him. I told my mom that he was darn cute and it was too bad he wasn't taller and older. Trust me when I say that I uttered those words in complete and total ignorance of WHERE I would be today, WHO I would be with, WHAT I would be doing, and WHEN I would be doing it! But I digress... The Honduran and I, while God sat up in Heaven giggling, ended up working on a project for my mom. The first day was fun, a little laughter at the language barrier and a lot of sweating and swearing. The second day there was a little flirting, followed by more serious questions. Day 3 and I was hooked. A few phone calls, a accidental meeting and a dinner that was supposed to include the mom and it was all over. A week later and we were official.

Officially a couple? Officially dating? Officially losing my comfortable, predictable little life! A month ago if you had told me that I would be dating someone, much less planning a wedding I would have spit, sputtered and laughed until the junk in my trunk fell off on the ground! Not to mention that I might have accused you of being crazy, smoking crack or having hit your head...hard. Never the less, here I sit, listening to Spanish music, and recording this phenomenon for posterity, completely baffled and sure that I still hear giggling coming from "Up on High." I am learning Spanish, not only to speak it but also to cook it. And, I'm learning new words in English too. Words like vulnerable, flexible and spontaneous. The self sufficient, lived on her own for 13 years, list making, planner I was is being eclipsed by the corazon, princessa and amor I have become. Being in a relationship takes guts and my hat is off to those of you who have gone before me. So...no guts, no glory! To quote one of my favorite Broadway musicals...

"Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second guessing. Too late to go back to sleep. Its time to trust my instincts, close my eyes and leap. Its time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity. And you can't bring me down."

So, I may not be looking down, but I am flying high. My life has become the Twilight Zone but I have always believed that weird is good. Stay tuned for more ups, downs, zigs, zags and other assorted wild rumpuses! And don't forget to laugh.